nature to nurture
a friend once asked me why it was that nurses tended to marry out of work, abusive, alcoholic losers that needed to be taken care of? i would posit that it isn't just nurses. it frustrates me at times that it seems inherant in the female nature to want to take care of people.
a fellow blogger - intelligent, articulate, educated - who through whatever circumstances is recently indigent, living on the streets hinting that with the coming winter chances for survival may be bleak.. immediately tugs at our collective female heartstrings. i am struck by the sudden onslaught of offerings by female bloggers following his writings to help him/house him - whatever - a total stranger - the internet persona whom we take to be real.. what is real? is this some sort of social experiment? a creative writing excercise?
it has affected me and i still don't get it. after the initial shock and sympathy, it actually strangely makes me angry that this is the way he's chosen his path. i cannot believe that no one would let him crash on their floor - i mean, what about the guy whose antique shop he was watching? you don't think he'd let him stay in the shop after hours? he states he doesn't have permanent belongings to avoid the impression of being homeless/helpless - as if this were a matter of some sort of moral high ground.. a feasability test? a "lewis and clarke excercise"? wake up, buddy this is your life. you have/had a family. i can't shake the sense that he thinks he is doing something rational - but rational only to his own reality. i get the impression that he is a highly functioning eccentric dreamer / borderline mentally unstable person.. (hmm sounds like people i know..) sorry if this is harsh, fish, but you wanted real consideration and comments and this is my visceral reaction.
i don't doubt that this need to nurture however pathologic is genetically programmed in women.. and that it does truly serve a purpose. but i also believe in choices and whatever shit gets thrown your way there is always a choice. so choose life. choose to accept some help. god knows half the population out there is willing to give it.
posted by minako @ 12:28 AM
3 Comments:
Whether it's the Florence Nightingale syndrome or maternal instinct, women inherently are the more compassionate of our species. It's a driving force in relationships (the woman behind the man). But I have to agree with you, we all make our own beds we sleep in. We live with our choices, our choices determine what we become. Not harsh, just reality. Why we make those choices is the topic of another blog.
fish - i'm sorry if you feel my comments are unhelpful, but i see and deal with homeless individuals every day in my work. it is not the romantic survivalist experience that you make it out to be. the longer you are out there the less likely it is that you will ever regain the job or home that you wish to have. i agree with you that our society does not have great resources for the indigent - shelters may not be ideal or the safest place in the world, but there are still plenty of resources out there compared to most other countries in the world. you are not the first person to lose a job, get in debt or lose a home because of a lousy economy - but you do have the option of accepting help from those around you - friends, acquaintances, social workers, churches - ask me and i will send you a list of organizations. so if you are refusing help to be housed from your concerned fellow bloggers, or refuse help from resources that are specifically designed for people in your position, then i have to wonder why you are doing this to yourself. i truly do wish the best for you but i am not going to just offer compassionate platitudes - i honestly don't know how else to be of help to you.
leo - still think women are the more compassionate of our species? reality bites.
solarkitty - Even when you think you're not. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
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