independence vs. codependence

when it comes to relationships, is there a happy medium?

most dysfunctional relationships seem to suffer from too much of one or the other. either they are too independent - taking separate vacations, staying for prolonged periods away from eachother seem 'normal' to them - they lead completely separate lives despite living under the same roof. the codependent couple is way too enmeshed, can't make a single minor decision without the other, do anything without the other, or have an independent thought from the other.. in both cases, the growth of the individual and the couple is stunted, stifled.

when two people are together they should both be growing, becoming better individuals because they are with eachother. so how does one accomplish this without falling into the traps of independence or codependence? 1) stay in love - love to be with eachother, truly enjoy eachother's company 2) care about one another's individuality - their space, their relationships with individual friends 3) communicate - debate, discuss and accept differing opinions. 4) and always remember why you fell in love in the first place.