it's the spark!
like the emperor penguins of the antarctic, it is unclear what exactly draws one being to another in the search for a mate..
looks? attitude? aura? pheromones? whatever it is, there is a personal connection on a physical, intellectual (one would hope) and emotional level that makes us want to spend our time and our lives with this special person.
modern courtship and mating rituals are complicated by parental and cultural pressures - wealth, education, class, race, politics, religion.. and our own brainwashing - the disney or hollywood version of 'prince charming' or 'mr. right'. there's the idea of who this made-up person is - and then there's the reality of the mere mortals of who we actually are.. so how does one find the perfect match and know that he's the one?
finding is the difficult part. in today's world of casual hookups and virtually no romance, women have little time and opportunity to meet people outside of their immediate work circle - often not the ideal place to start a relationship. so we tend to date people met at parties or bars, through introductions - blind dates or via the internet. where one may not put their most honest face forward - they're on their best behavior.. for now. and then there's timing - either he's still involved with someone, or just getting over someone or else you are - there are kids involved or an overclose mother.. and if not, an immediate red flag - we wonder what's the catch, what's he hiding, what's wrong with him? and maybe there isn't anything wrong with him - it's nice, but there just isn't that spark, that head-over-heels feeling that you get when you're with him. or there is that all consuming excitement and passion that fades in 3 months or so when you realise that you actually don't have that much in common or aren't very compatible after all.. (what, anchovies and pineapple on pizza?!)
finding true love means not settling for less. in knowing he's the one there should be no question - you just know. when you're in love it's obvious to the world - the way your eyes light up when speaking of him, a secret smile just thinking of him - the way your heart feels like it's about to explode when you kiss.. and that feeling grows each and every day. it's that spark that overrides everything - it's the spark that counts!
posted by minako @ 11:28 AM
4 Comments:
i agree with you fish - love can't be found by checklist or resume.. and the path that we all take in life is often not at all what we planned - though i'm generally all about free choice, i'd like to believe that at times it is all destiny.
its quite without definition now isnt it? the guy you think would never be for you, not only inspires the spark but lights you on fire. you are ablaze and have no wish to quell it. what makes someone that 'special someone'? of course one does tend to connect more with those who hold shared values and intersts- just look at who you chose for friends. but sometimes the one you least expect is the one that trips you up and steals your heart, your mind, your soul.
Help, I've fallen and can't get up. On second thought, I like it down here. She can have my heart, my mind, my soul if only I can have the same in return. Therein lies the definition of the 'pitfall of love'. But when the pitfall has been hurdled and you're both lying on the ground together ... let the sparks fly!
I once read on a Bigelow tea box that love is not wondering anymore if there is someone better out there for you.
And then there is 20 years of married life rife with sparks and magical moments. But suddenly the terrain ahead is rough and unknown.
Even the best all terrain vehicles need to be brought into the shop to get a tune up from an expert mechanic.
So lets just hope Joey Buttafuco is no longer fixing cars!
Great post.
"IS"
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