great expectations
in mathematic terms, expectation is the sum of the values of a random variable divided by the number of variables, like the arithmetic mean. does this mean we should just expect what is average?
an expectation is a belief about (or mental picture of) the future - an anticipation, a hope, a trust of something that is about to happen.
parents have expectations of their children, which at times weigh heavily - the need to not disappoint them, to dash their hopes and dreams of you. in the end, they just want for you to be happy. although initially they may not see your path as a viable route to that happiness. how is it that they always seem to have a plan, a direction, a drive that i lack?
in the career path, being unsettled may be the most difficult - not knowing, uncertainty of direction seems almost worse than being stuck in a job that you despise. my best friend would say that there are always options. weighing the risks and benefits of any situation and choosing is where the decision lies, and what you have to live with.
personal expectations are the trickiest. matters of the heart are never easy. my motto has been to "hope for the best, expect the worst - so that anything in betweeen doesn't come as a disappointment". we realise with great difficulty sometimes that no one person, no one relationship is infallable.. it is hard to not come to expect certain things when we feel we have put our hearts out on the line. we anticipate our loved ones to respond in the way we want or think that we would in that same situation. i guess we just have to remember all of us come to this point in time with miscellaneous baggage and not everyone handles the weight with the same attachments or decisiveness of others.
are we walking a path with the future a big black box ahead of us? choice is what is supposed to control the future, but there are many random variables outside of our choices.. and then there is possibly fate, karma, kismet.. and there is hope.. ("you have to create an atmosphere for hope" says my cerebrally mended friend..)
to the new year. let us trust that it is better than average, and that it can quite possibly be great.
posted by minako @ 12:29 PM
4 Comments:
never expect and never be disappointed is one way to look at it or if you dont ask for it, if you dont try, youll always go without...caught again...how do you balance it all?
but what happens when you think the other person is on the same page as you and then voila! it turns out they were reading a different book altogether and in french no less. is it miscommunication? is it just assuming the other knew what you wanted? or was thinking? or perhaps their priorities are different from yours? number one on your list is number 17 on theirs. can we fault them for that? different people are after all what makes the world more interesting, but what do you do with the emotions: the hurt, the disappointment, and at times the rage of being let down? how come they dont see things as clearly as you and i do??? and is it painful enough that you realize you have to move on and get on or do you believe in second and third and so forth chances? at what point does the pain become so disabling that you need to separate yourself from the situation that is the etiology? i wish i had the answers but unfortunately its all questions with no answer key in sight. hoping 2006 is a good atmosphere for you and the ones you love
...ah, yes those tricky expectations..I agree the personal ones are the hardest, and the main ones I allow these days...though I'm learning to be more gentle and realistic.
Basic expectations of trust, kindness and some reciprocity are reasonable between friends and lovers...once you decide what you'll accept..again brings the expectations back to your standards .
Parental expectations..I agree with grumblefish...."what they didn't know then..."
and more importantly what do you know now concerning you're self-expectations ....and are they all yours? can you differentiate between yours and theirs? can you let go of theirs..without the guilt?
One of my favorite sayings is "friends are the family you choose for yourself"...and so hopefully it goes a little smoother with "family' that you choose....and a HAPPY 2006 to all!!
welcome, chatdancer!
thanks for the comments intrigant and grumble...
i certainly do appreciate and enjoy my chosen family lately! i think that at times expectations help us to keep us looking forwards instead of dwelling on past mistakes.. in truth i usually do hope for the best and don't usually expect the worst - otherwise i guess i wouldn't get so heartbroken.. i guess you're right, intrigant - never take that chance and you'll never receive... happy new year to everyone, thank god for short memories, and looking forwards to positive expectations for the new year!
wise words from my little sister (the youngest member of my chosen family) today..
'you need to set expectations in order to set goals and guage how you're doing with them.'
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