advice

everyone has their own opinion on what should or could be done in a situation. you would like to think that advice from friends is something you can count on - an impartial (or at least partial in your favor) judge of a situation - and that they mean well for you.. or at least they think that they are advocating for you.

opinions and recommendations tend to come from personal life experience - and being human, these may be riddled with their own baggage or opinions formed from lack of information.. friends sometimes think that tough love may be in order when in fact what they are saying is hurtful or targeting vulnerabilities and may not necessarily be constructive criticism..

and so i must remind myself - an outsider's perspective may or may not be helpful to you. ultimately you decide what to listen to and what to shut out - what do you really know and what choices do you make?
you are in control.

nature to nurture

a friend once asked me why it was that nurses tended to marry out of work, abusive, alcoholic losers that needed to be taken care of? i would posit that it isn't just nurses. it frustrates me at times that it seems inherant in the female nature to want to take care of people.

a fellow blogger - intelligent, articulate, educated - who through whatever circumstances is recently indigent, living on the streets hinting that with the coming winter chances for survival may be bleak.. immediately tugs at our collective female heartstrings. i am struck by the sudden onslaught of offerings by female bloggers following his writings to help him/house him - whatever - a total stranger - the internet persona whom we take to be real.. what is real? is this some sort of social experiment? a creative writing excercise?

it has affected me and i still don't get it. after the initial shock and sympathy, it actually strangely makes me angry that this is the way he's chosen his path. i cannot believe that no one would let him crash on their floor - i mean, what about the guy whose antique shop he was watching? you don't think he'd let him stay in the shop after hours? he states he doesn't have permanent belongings to avoid the impression of being homeless/helpless - as if this were a matter of some sort of moral high ground.. a feasability test? a "lewis and clarke excercise"? wake up, buddy this is your life. you have/had a family. i can't shake the sense that he thinks he is doing something rational - but rational only to his own reality. i get the impression that he is a highly functioning eccentric dreamer / borderline mentally unstable person.. (hmm sounds like people i know..) sorry if this is harsh, fish, but you wanted real consideration and comments and this is my visceral reaction.

i don't doubt that this need to nurture however pathologic is genetically programmed in women.. and that it does truly serve a purpose. but i also believe in choices and whatever shit gets thrown your way there is always a choice. so choose life. choose to accept some help. god knows half the population out there is willing to give it.

superstitions

"sounds pretty noisy over there"
"no actually, it's not so bad - it's well, it's you know - the q word"
"no, what is the 'q-word'?"
"you know, q-u-i-e-t"

i have long poked fun at those highly superstitious - "you can't come to the bar until after the 7th inning - otherwise the yanks will lose..." yeah, like the fate of baseball players changes depending on the timing of a single tv spectator's entry to the local pub. and yet i am shamed into spelling out a word that one must not utter, lest i invoke the dieties (who obviously can't spell), the controller of injuries and sudden illnesses to smite us with a sudden onslaught of the hurt, sick, angry and insane..

how does this well known phenomenon of the jinx become tradition in e.r.'s across the country? it's always a case of "i'll do this just in case..." but how does human nature make the leap from "i'll tip the cabbie an extra dollar for good karma" - to virgin sacrifices to appease the gods? ...and don't give me that 'we're more advanced now' crap - just look at the world today - the evolution debate, the stemcell debate, the abortion debate?!

humans are a primitive species. there's no intelligent design about it. so why not believe in karmic retribution and other such silly superstitions - as long as there's no harm in doing so? (other than the obvious, of seeming totally stupid and being devoid of rational thought.)

instant gratification

i want what i want when i want it - and i want it now!

spoiled brat? or assertive new yorker?
patience is a virtue, but in today's 'click and you shall receive' internet existence, who has time for patience?

i have centered my life around being able to obtain immediate feedback or instant gratification. in my job - i do x, i see result y - there's no days of waiting - hours at most.. i live in a metropolis where any craving can be satisfied - whether it's for afghan firnee, dominican mofongo, korean bibimbap, or turkish lachmajoun - give me 20 minutes and i'm there. music, arts, theater - there is always something out there to stay the boredom police. even in my relationship, i am made fun of - that there is no delaying gratification (how like a man!) - well, at least in the bedroom...

so does this make me childish or immature or spoiled? does it make me want to continue to be disorganized, directionless, and indecisive?

patience, sparrow..
..but it just feels so good to get it now!

heisenberg uncertainty principle

dp x dx > h / (2 x pi) = Planck's constant / (2 x pi)

heisenberg's uncertainty principle basically states that in the quantum mechanical world one cannot know both the position x and the momentum p of an object, but can only guess its probability.

some scientists felt that the uncertainty lies in the fact that matter acts not just like a particle but a wave (that would be schrodinger (of feline fame) - to which heisenberg replied he considered his theory to be bullshit), or that we lack the necessary technology to measure the path of such a particle..

heisenberg states that "the ‘path’ comes into being only because we observe it". so in other words, ‘measurement=creation’ - if it can't be measured, then it is not physically real. ok, this is quasi pseudo-deep.. so if the tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it not make a sound? if you do not see it, did it even happen?

is this indeterminism of the universe true of paths one takes in human nature? of fate, of choice? can we only guess at the probability of our position and momentum? are we deterministic in our choices or do we behave in a probabilistic manner in that we cannot predict the path we will follow..

hang on little tomato..

..i'm about to have an emotional ketchup burst.